""From my Daddy," said Johnny. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? Little Johnnys teacher is walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime when she sees Johnny making faces at another child. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. That's one of the short adult jokes. Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. 58 reviews of The Hotel Fresno "We've arrived to this hotel around 2am, really tired, as one of the last option locally to find a room to sleep. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. "Fred: "There it is! Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. We told her it was four. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. But men can fake a whole relationship. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? The best little johnny jokes. And why are there jokes named after him? "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Well, he should be ashamed of himself. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. ", Mom: "Have you ever heard of the Socratic method? The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. We respect your privacy. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. Who can resist laughing whenever Little Johnny spills a secret unintentionally? Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. This comment is hidden. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. This 2014 recording became Hunt's second consecutive single to reach #1 on the country charts. This again is good proof that our theory might just be right! "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? "Little Johnny: "Nine. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. lol seems like he should. Wanna hear it? "No, he's not!" The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The chief reporter of the Western Daily Press, my colleague Mervyn Hancock, was a big bloke in every sense - hugely experienced, loud and good-humoured. ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. One day Jimmy got home early from school. ", "No, son. Billy said. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. But she still doesn't know. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. "Johnny: "The dog refused to. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. LOL. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. excluding reissues, remasters, and compilations of previously released recordings, and (2) notable, defined as having received significant coverage from reliable sources independent of the subject.. For additional information about bands formed, reformed, disbanded, or . Cant argue with him there. Please check link and try again. From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! - ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? Its weird. This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. Little Johnny must like shocking the other kids. Check out these clean Little Johnny jokes! One hundred dollars. So he asks his mom. 64. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? "Daddy is surprised, Really? My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Johnny asked. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. His teacher visiting home. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. That's what you do with a kidnapper. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". We have collected the best Little Johnny jokes that we can find. Johnny quickly said, No way. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" 'What if you need just one kid?' "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? That's dirty, Little Johnny! He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. I already have one rabbit at home! ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. Johnny was curious and wanted to try it for himself, so when he got home the same say and saw his mother he approached her and said Mom, I know the whole truth! Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! She grounded him. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. However, we have an origin theory of our own. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Full name: John 2. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Wanna take the joke a little far? He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. Larysa is a list curator at Bored Panda. 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